When She's Broken Read online

  “Okay. I’ll be right back. Say bye, girls.”

  “Bye, Daddy,” the girls sang, unaware of the tension in the air.

  With Ashlynn on her hip and Ashlee’s hand in hers, Astryd made her way out of their home and to their 2015 Toyota Camry. It was a gift from her grandmother, her mom’s mother, Lola. Strapping the girls in Astryd climbed inside and immediately got frustrated. Once again, there was hardly any gas in the tank, and she had to drive all the way across town damn near to drop the girls off, come back, and then head to work. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed she could make it to all three without stopping for gas. It wasn’t an option with her having to be at work in an hour.

  Making it across town in twenty minutes which was good for a Monday, Astryd pulled into Lola’s driveway and kept the car running. Unstrapping Ashlynn, she waved at her sister as Ashlee leaned over to kiss her cheek.

  “See you later, Ashy boo,” Ashlee giggled.

  Lola was standing outside waiting for her grandbaby. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked as soon as they approached.

  “Just a rough morning. I need to stop and get gas before I go back and pick Lonzo up and still drop Ashlee off at daycare,” she sighed heavily, feeling the tears she tried keeping tucked away surface.

  “I’ll take her. You know it never hurts to ask when you need help,” Lola said softly but meant every word.

  Astryd sniffled. “You already do so much. I don’t want to feel like a burden.”

  “Hush. Go get my other grandbaby and handle your business. Had you not been about shit like that cousin of yours, you know I wouldn’t offer.”

  Chuckling, Astryd nodded her head and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Grammy. Today is my late day, so I won’t get here until around six. Is that okay?”

  “That’s fine. I’m not doing much else. Plus, Ashlynn is a good child and potty trained. Go on now,” she shooed.

  Telling Ashlee to come on, Astryd kissed her girls and told them she’d see them later before hopping back in the car. Looking at the time, she thanked God she had enough time to stop and get gas. It was going on 8:15, which left her time to at least toss five or ten dollars in the tank, make the drive home and still be at work on time. It was wishful thinking though.

  Pulling into her driveway at 8:47, she called Alonzo’s cell prepared to tell him to come outside, but of course, he didn’t answer. Huffing, Astryd climbed from the car and jogged up the steps. Entering their home, Alonzo was laid out right where he had been when she left damn near an hour ago. The game system was loud, and the potent weed smell from his blunt was even louder.

  “Lonzo, it’s almost nine o’clock. I can’t be late,” she said, trying to sound like she wasn’t whining.

  Looking her way, his eyes roamed her body before he focused back on the game. Astryd stood there like a child who had just asked her parents’ permission to have company, and they ignored her. Alonzo was good for that but let her have ignored him; all hell would break loose. Watching the time tick by on the DVR monitor, Astryd turned on her heels to head back to the car.

  “Did I say you could walk away?” Alonzo asked calmly.

  Fear crept up her spine at the simple question. She didn’t turn around to answer him, and there was no need to. In the few seconds she used to suck in a breath, Alonzo was up on her from behind. Delivering a swift punch to the side of her stomach, Astryd dared not make a whimper. The more noise she made, the more blows he’d provide. As she tucked her lips to keep her cry hidden, she thought back to how it had gotten this bad. If there was something she had done to make him go from the once charming man she had fallen head first for, to the vicious, lazy, abuser of a man, Astryd wanted to know what she did wrong.

  “I don’t know why you think you’re running shit, but you’re not. Take your ass to the car, and you better walk straight too,” he hissed, giving her a slight shove.

  Swallowing hard, she took a small step forward and opened the door. Knowing he was probably watching her from the peephole once the door closed, she held her composure and walked like she hadn’t just been punched in her ribs. Easing into the car, her entire frame trembled as she licked her dry lips. Crying wasn’t an option. Alonzo would just make her skip work and beat her ass until he felt she had a reason to cry. Leaning her head back on the seat, she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer to the Man above.

  “Lord, please save me from this hell I’m in,” she whispered just as Alonzo came strolling out of the house.

  Climbing in the car, he adjusted the seat and backed out of the driveway. They didn’t pull up to Astryd’s job until 9:13, making her late once again. This was not how she wanted to start her week off, but she had no choice.

  “Fix yo fucking face and give me a kiss before you walk in there,” he spat before she could climb out.

  Turning in her seat, she leaned over and pecked his lips with her eyes open. When she felt him smirk, she sighed and backed away. He wasn’t smirking at the feel of her soft lips though. One of Astryd’s coworkers was walking by and caught the two lip-locking. Being the asshole he was, Alonzo shot the girl a wink while Astryd wasn’t looking. When Astryd’s eyes landed on her strutting past the front of their car, it took everything in her not to say something to him. That’d just warrant her in a deal of trouble later on.

  “Have a good day. I get off at 5:30,” she told him opening her door.

  “Aight. I love you A.”

  With her back to him, Astryd mumbled, “I love you too,” before climbing out and closing the door.

  The words left a bitter taste on her tongue every time she was forced to speak them. If what he was giving her was supposed to feel like love, she’d never want to know what hate felt like.

  Chapter Two

  The work week had flown by, and Astryd couldn’t complain. Well, she could, but she was grateful to even still have a job. One that paid well at that. Working at an assisted living facility hadn’t been her dream job, in fact, it wasn’t the first option when she began her hunt for work. When she went in for the interview, she knew she didn’t meet all the qualities they were searching for in an employee but gave her the position anyway. Her kind spirit and willingness to learn is what sealed the deal for her employer.

  Staring down at her phone screen as it rang, she sucked her teeth when the call went to voicemail for the third time. Alonzo was supposed to have picked her up over thirty minutes ago, and yet he hadn’t returned a single phone call or showed his face.

  “He knows I get off at one on Fridays,” she grumbled, feeling annoyed as hell.

  Popping a squat on the bench, Astryd enjoyed the cool August breeze as she dialed up her best friend, Honey, for a ride. It wouldn’t be the first time nor the last. She just prayed she wasn’t busy. After the second ring, Honey answered in her angelic tone making Astryd smile.

  “Hey boo!”

  “Honey, love,” Astryd cooed. “Hey. Are you busy?”

  “Nope. About to go get some food with Greigh and Lee, what’s up?”

  Her eyes closed, and face bunched up. Asking for favors was extremely hard for Astryd. Even after over a decade of friendship, she still felt a way about it.

  “Can you get me from work, please,” she hurriedly let out, then held her breath.

  “Girl, yeah. I’m like five minutes from there. You hungry?”

  Astryd released a deep breath and smiled. “Yeah. I could eat.”

  “Bet. I’m on the way boo.”

  “Okay. I’m outside. Thank you so much. I’ll give you gas mon—”

  “Byyye. I ain’t trying to hear that,” Honey fussed with a light laugh before hanging up in her best friend’s face.

  Gas money wasn’t going to change the fact that they had solid years of friendship under their belt. Back in high school if Astryd slid her a five or ten for gas it was cool, ‘cause Honey was the only one with a car, but now they were grown. She did for Astryd because she loved her, not because she wanted something in return. That in
cluded gas money.

  When Honey pulled up in her coke white Benz with the peanut butter seats, Astryd stood to her feet and met her at the curb. Climbing in, she exhaled as the soft seats seemed to massage her tense body.

  “Hey girl,” Honey said smiling. “How was work?”

  “Strange for a Friday, but I’m used to it,” she chuckled. “Where you coming from?”

  “The shop. I had a last-minute client walk in, right before we decided to go out to eat.”

  Honey and Greigh both used to work at the same nail shop but now owned their own shop. Their clientele was through the roof and hardly did they ever have time to take walk-in’s, but Friday’s until 12:30 Honey took them. She’d extend her hours on some Friday’s, but today she needed a lunch break. Her stomach was touching her damn back.

  “I see you dyed your hair again,” Astryd noticed, giving her friend an appreciative look.

  Honey was the prettiest girl you’d lay eyes upon with her bright skin decorated in light brown freckles, crimson red hair and penny colored eyes, she most definitely stood out in any crowd.

  “Yes. I don’t know why I can’t shake this red. I love it,” she replied, hopping on the highway.

  “So does Jamir,” Astryd said, speaking of Honey’s man.

  “Girl yes. He calls me his little hood rat superstar,” she laughed shaking her head.

  “You’d look good with black. You should try it.”

  Honey smirked and looked over at her. “I think I will. What’s been up with you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I know I be busy with work and traveling, but that’s no excuse.”

  “No, it’s okay. We all have lives. I’ve been good, though. Working, taking care of the girls and enjoying watching them grow. I swear Ashlee is too much for me sometimes,” she snickered.

  “I’m sure she acts just like you. Sweet as hell, but baby don’t let that attitude surface.”

  “Oh, whatever. My attitude is nonexistent now.”

  “Mhm. As if that nigga Alonzo don’t be pissing you off.”

  Astryd shrugged. Alonzo did way more than piss her off. He was the reason she was sitting passenger side of a vehicle that wasn’t hers.

  “Not really. He’s getting better,” she said softly, not wanting to give any indication that he was beating her ass for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack.

  Honey just nodded as she cruised down Lindbergh. St. Louis was their hometown, and neither of them ever wanted to leave it back in the day but getting a new address in a different state was starting to look more and more appealing by the day. Honey for business purposes, and Astryd for an array of reasons. The main one being her safety. Every day she was gambling with her life by staying with Alonzo, but she couldn’t see leaving him for anyone or thing better. Not yet at least.

  Sitting in the booth at 54th Street Bar & Grill, Astryd sipped on her water as her eyes kept dropping to her phone. It was sitting on the table and had been since they arrived. Alonzo hadn’t called back yet, but she knew he would and didn’t want to miss his phone call.

  “I know that waitress better stop looking over here like she knows us,” Greigh fussed with a frown on her face.

  “Y’all are known for doing nails, G. Relax tough ass,” Lee snickered.

  “Nah. She looks like she has an attitude for real. I don’t like that. Anyway, before she makes me get out of character in here... what’s been going on?”

  The four had been close for a while now. Lee and Greigh were best friends, and Honey was Lee’s cousin. Their bond grew even closer after a freak accident that involved Lee being in a coma for almost a month.

  Astryd sat back and listened to Lee speak on her and her husband, Demir’s, married life now. The glow radiating from her skin was just as bright as the one from her wedding ring. Love looked good on Lee, and after all she had been through she deserved every ounce her man gave.

  Though it shouldn’t have, a wave of envy came over Astryd. Not because she was jealous of any of the women in her presence, but because she was just content with being Alonzo’s baby mama. As her girls spoke so highly of their partners and the moves they were making to secure them a lifestyle of wealth, Astryd found herself struggling to answer the question regarding what Alonzo was doing for work. He wasn’t working; it was as simple as that.

  “He um… well, he’s in between jobs right now,” she answered.

  “In between? Girl, if he’s looking for work, Indeed has plenty of job openings, okay?” Greigh laughed but was serious.

  “Seriously friend,” Honey agreed. “Lots of people are hiring right now.”

  “I’ll let him know,” she replied sipping from her straw.

  They continued chatting until their food was brought out. Having not eaten all day, Astryd tore into her tequila wrappers, waffle fries, and gringo dip. She was so focused on her plate, she didn’t take a breather or look up until a girl walked up to their table.

  “Hey, Honey. I thought that was you,” the girl chirped.

  “Hey, girl. What’s up?”

  “Nothing much,” she said giving the table a wave of her hand. “I heard your cousin is getting out soon. You excited?”

  Honey chuckled at the audacity of her question. “Yeah, you? Heard you been ducked off while he been away.”

  She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t listen to him. I’ve been right where he left me. I’ll be seeing you around though. Maybe we can link up once he gets out.”

  “Eh, I doubt it, but have a good day girl,” Honey replied making the girls chuckle.

  When the girl walked away, Lee was the first one to speak up. “Was that Baylei?”

  Honey nodded. “Mhm. That was her hoe ass. She gone bring up my cousin like he really fucks with her.”

  “He’s getting out soon?” Astryd asked, unable to hold the question in any longer.

  “Yep. Should be touching down next week if I’m not mistaken. Your brother didn’t let you know about the welcome home party?”

  Astryd shook her head no as a feeling she hadn’t felt in years took over her body. She couldn’t quite describe what it was, but she no longer had an appetite. “No, I haven’t talked to him in like a week.”

  “Oh. Well, yeah. We’re throwing him a welcome home party next weekend. Y’all should come through,” Honey suggested.

  “Bitch, is that how you invite someone out?” Greigh joked.

  “It sure is, and you and Esmin better be there. Tell that nigga to bring some wings, too,” Honey laughed.

  “Nah. Nope. You aren’t about to use my man for his business. Is your cousin still fine?” Greigh asked in a whisper like Esmin would pop up from another table and scold her ass for speaking that way about another man.

  Pursing her lips together, Honey nodded with a smirk. “Yep. And he got buff as hell. But don’t even worry about him. You got a man.”

  “Shiiiit. Ain’t nothing wrong with looking," Greigh laughed, and Lee shook her head in amusement.

  While they laughed and giggled, Astryd was thinking of a way she could convince Alonzo to not attend the welcome home party with her. She wanted no distractions when her eyes landed upon him. The him who could have been her man instead of Alonzo. Memories of them and what they could have been flooded her brain, but not for long.

  The vibration of her phone against the wooden table made her flinch so hard, the ladies all looked at her like something was wrong. Astryd gave them a soft smile, before answering Alonzo’s call and turning her volume down.

  “Where the fuck you at?” he asked calmly.

  It was damn near two hours later, and that’s what he wanted to know? Not give an apology for leaving her stranded or ask how work was? His only concern was why she wasn’t at the home they shared. Astryd was damn near spooked to answer his question but knew he wouldn’t let her off the phone without answering.

  “I’m out to eat with Honey. She picked me up from work,” she said lowly.

  “Who else I hear
talking?” he hissed.

  Astryd swallowed hard. Their waiter, a male, had just walked back over and was asking how everything tasted. He stood around a little too long trying to make sure he earned his tip.

  “That was the waiter, bae.”

  The line went quiet for a full minute before Alonzo said anything. “Aight. The girls with my mama for the weekend.”

  “Okay. Do you want me to bring you some food home?” she asked sweetly.

  “Nah. Just hurry your ass home to me so we can spend some time together.”

  His reply made Astryd smile. It’d been so long since they spent quality time with one another, she almost asked if he could come and get her but knew that’d be just enough reason for him to come inside and show his ass.

  “I’ll be home soon. Love you.”

  “Yeah. You better.”

  The line disconnected and Astryd sat there with a goofy grin on her face. The appetite she lost before her call was back. Dipping her fry into the dip, she chewed slowly as they all stared at her with smirks on their faces.

  “What?” she questioned.

  “That was that, ‘Bring your ass home so I can drop this dick in your belly,’ phone call, huh?” Greigh laughed. “I know that smile all too well.”

  Astryd rolled her eyes playfully. “I bet you do.”

  An hour later with full bellies, the group of ladies hugged before parting ways. Astryd and Honey headed to her car, so she could drop her off at home. Seeing the time on the dashboard made Astryd sigh heavily. Though Alonzo was calm when he called, in the back of her mind, Astryd knew her going out with her girls without consulting with him first would most likely lead to an argument. An argument she was not in the mood to have.

  Alonzo had out of nowhere over the years become constantly jealous. It was so bad, she’d hate to even be around his friends. One wrong reply or saying to them, and Alonzo’s mind immediately went to her having some kind of ties to them sexually. Controlling her daily activities was another favorite of his. Knowing Astryd’s favorite thing to do to pass time was play games on her phone, he’d keep it from her for hours on end only to ignore her. Him being unemployed was the worst though, especially on her off days. It drove Astryd crazy.